A few weeks ago I was talking to my sister Natalie about what books we were reading. She mentioned how most books written by moms are of them looking back and telling the reader how fast time flies. We really wanted a book from a mom right in the middle of it...active kids, working husband, trying to have a life and going totally crazy! This Is How We Grow was just that! The author Christina Hibbert is my sister-in-law's sister-in-law. So reading about her family, hearing names and putting faces to so many people in this book made it that much more fun to read. I guess "fun" isn't the correct word since the book was an emotional roller coaster! There were some days I just couldn't read it because I knew it would make me cry and I didn't want to ruin my makeup.
Christina Hibbert, a psychologist, takes the reader through a few years of her life dealing with the grief of losing her sister and brother-in-law and having the overwhelming job of raising her two nephews now (in addition to her own four kids!). A majority of the book is her own personal journal entries smack dab in the middle of it all. For anybody that has experienced any kind of loss and tried dealing with the grief and unknown feelings that come with it will really enjoy this book.
One of my favorite things Dr. Hibbert does is instead of making a list of New Year's resolutions she picks one thing to focus on. For example A Year of Patience or A Year of Gratitude. I think for 2014 I am going to try the same thing. Let's face it, my goal of going 30 days without cussing went right out the window the moment I got pregnant and my hormones starting raging! At least I have stopped cussing in front of Hazel....that has to count for something right? So after thinking about what I wanted to focus on I think I have decided to have A Year of Positivity. I believe changing my way of thinking and looking at things in a positive light will drastically change my mood, my attitude toward mothering some days and being a housewife. Especially with the new baby coming and all the changes that go with it.
I loved this book so there are a lot of favorite quotes:
"The question I find more helpful is 'How?' How do I carry on? How do I do what I'm being asked to do? How do I learn from this? 'How' is a question of commitment, a question of action, a question of faith. 'How' is acceptance, willingness, and patience. Though we may not understand 'why,' the answer to 'how' is always there, if we will simply ask."
"The key to learning patience is learning to accept what is."
"I love every moment of being a mother. I even love the moments I don't love."
"Introvert or extrovert, there are times when all of us need connection, and times when we all need solitude. There are many times when we need another to lift, teach, amuse, and love us, and plenty of moments when we need to lift, teach, amuse, and love ourselves."
"Anger, like any emotion, is neither 'good' nor 'bad.' It's how we express our anger that gets us into trouble."
"If I want to be more loving, kind, generous, assertive, I can. If I want to be a leader, a hard worker, a motivator, I can. All it requires is choosing to work on and improve that trait."
"I know bad can happen. I know it will again, someday. So, I am fully invested in enjoying the good while I have it. I'm making the most of each day by turning my face to the sun."
"I've recently avoided several unnecessary moments of anxiety by telling myself, Quiet down in there, I'm trying to relax! And I actually minded myself!"
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
Carl W Beuchner
"I'm realizing that this is 'normal' life. I need to expect life to be like this - a little chaotic, a very quick pace, full, unpredictable - and rewarding."
"I want to die used up, with nothing left to give, knowing I left it all on the playing field."
"Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God."
"That brings us full circle. In order to give love, we must receive love; as we receive love, we learn to love ourselves; and as we love ourselves, we have so much more love to give."
"I submitted. I accepted that this was where we were, and it was a relief."